A Muslim’s Guide to Self Love: Protecting Your Peace

Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling emotionally drained? Or spent hours replaying a conflict in your mind, wondering if it was worth the energy? In a world that constantly demands our attention and reaction, preserving our inner peace is essential for our well-being.

In last week’s blog, we discussed the meaning of self-love: the culmination of compassion, respect, and growth. We focused on compassion and recognising our value as Muslims.

This week, we focus on respect, specifically how protecting your peace and knowing your worth are essential to cultivating self-love. These two elements are not just about avoiding external stress but also about nurturing our emotional and mental well-being.

Knowing our worth means recognising that we deserve respect, kindness, and care, both from ourselves and others. Protecting our peace means prioritising our mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being by avoiding negativity and focusing on what truly nurtures our growth and contentment.

When we truly recognise our worth, we no longer tolerate what diminishes our self-esteem. Instead, we become more mindful of where we invest our energy, making choices that honour our values and keep us grounded in what truly matters.

Let’s explore what Islam says…

The Strength in Walking Away

One effective way to protect your peace is by knowing when to disengage from conflict.

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ emphasised this in a Hadith narrated by Abu Umamah:

“I guarantee a house in the surroundings of Paradise for a man who avoids quarrelling even if he were in the right.” (Sunan Abi Dawud 4800)

Constantly defending your stance, proving yourself, or engaging in disputes can drain emotional energy. Walking away from unnecessary arguments, especially when they serve no real purpose, is not a sign of weakness but of strength.

True self-respect lies in knowing when to speak and when to remain silent for the sake of your peace.

Protecting your peace means valuing Allah’s reward more than the need to be heard or justified. When we choose patience and humility over conflict, we not only maintain our inner tranquillity but also earn a special reward from Allah.

Embracing Self-Focus

Another important aspect of protecting your peace is focusing on your own growth and well-being. In a world full of distractions, it’s easy to get caught up in what others think of us, societal pressures, or conflicts that don’t serve us.

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught:

"Part of the perfection of one's Islam is his leaving that which does not concern him.” (Tirmidhi)

This profound statement reminds us that not everything is worthy of our time, energy, or emotional investment. Often, we drain ourselves by worrying about people’s opinions, engaging in unnecessary drama, or involving ourselves in matters that have nothing to do with us, whether out of curiosity, obligation, or even concern.

But when we step back and focus on our own growth, healing, and peace, we reclaim our emotional and mental well-being. Setting boundaries and minding our own affairs allows us to preserve our energy for what truly matters.

This doesn’t mean we stop being compassionate or refuse to hold space for others when they need us. Supporting loved ones, offering kindness, and helping where we can is part of our responsibility.

However, there is a difference between being present for someone and needlessly inserting ourselves into situations that do not concern us.

Gossip, unnecessary debates, speculation about others’ lives, and conflicts that drain rather than benefit us are distractions that take us away from our purpose. Protecting our peace means knowing the difference and choosing to focus on ourselves and our goals.

Words That Nourish the Soul

Building on the idea of leaving that which does not concern us, we can also practise protecting our peace through mindful speech. Islam teaches us that our words have great power and responsibility.

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:

“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak good or remain silent.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, 6136; Sahih Muslim, 47)

This hadith encourages us to be intentional with our speech. In a world where idle chatter, gossip, or unnecessary opinions often flood our conversations, it's important to pause and consider:

Are our words contributing positively, or are they draining us and others?

Choosing to speak only when beneficial is a form of self-respect and a powerful way to protect our peace.

Silence isn’t emptiness, it’s an act of self-care. When we speak only what brings goodness, we avoid engaging in unnecessary conflict or negativity that can disrupt our well-being.

Guarding our peace involves conserving our energy and focusing on the things that truly matter. By practising mindful speech, we not only enhance our relationships but also cultivate an environment where we can thrive mentally and emotionally.

Protecting your peace means taking control of what you allow into your life. While we cannot control the behaviour of others, we can choose where to direct our energy.

Be mindful of what and who you engage with, ensuring that these interactions are truly beneficial to you. Of course, life comes with its own challenges, and draining situations are sometimes inevitable. We can’t control everything.

However, the one thing we do have control over is how we react to situations. All we can do is try to navigate every situation with positivity, patience, and trust in Allah to the best of our ability.

It’s important to remember that protecting your peace doesn’t mean being unkind or neglecting our responsibilities. It’s about focusing on our own growth and well-being to the point where the actions, behaviours, and personal lives of others no longer disrupt our inner calm.

When we focus on nurturing ourselves and prioritising what truly benefits us, we become less affected by external negativity, drama, or the need to engage in situations that don’t serve our purpose.

By protecting our peace in this way, we not only preserve our energy but also create space for healthier, more fulfilling relationships, while maintaining the clarity to make better decisions for our growth and peace of mind.